Have you ever worked with a joker? Not the Heath Ledger sociopath, but rather the trickery of Penn and Teller? I’ve had the pleasure of working with some real masters at the art of a good practical joke. Even my own current president and CEO have both once or twice enlisted my help as wingman on a couple of jokes. Through my association in this secretive society of the work related prankster I was once tangled up in a web of treachery, deceit and injustice that was rivaled only by the novel Go Dog Go by P.D. Eastman. A book that truly mimics my life experiences. This tale ties to my blubbering title after a couple of twists and turns, so stay with me dear reader, for I shall show you joking hell at it’s finest.
I work for a woman that I have unparalleled respect for in business. She has brains and wisdom. She communicates her thoughts and ideas in a way that I am envious of as well as thankful for. She has the ability to exercise caution and restraint in conditions that I would jump without thinking of consequence. With all of this you would think that she has little to no sense of humor. Ahh but with humor, as with icebergs, if you see a hint on the surface, there is much much more beneath. Due to conditions of privacy imposed on me by alliances at the time, I will not comment on her theatrical record of comedic evil to which I was a part. Though I will say, to put it lightly, the girl can dish it out.
As with all good stories, along comes a spider. Several people wanted justice and retribution against my comedic crime boss and came to me to assist them. Being involved in the initial joke as her wingman, I would have been playing both sides against the middle and I knew it would mean I would have many jokes against me to contend with in my future. I was fine with that part, but the joke they wanted to perpetrate was one I had some heinous experiences with in my past. Because of this I declined their request and promised my silence as to their identities. I did not warn my boss of her impending doom as the action we took together was done and our temporary alliance was at an end. I wasn’t on retainer to be a squealer and besides, I surmised she needed no protection. The supposition was in error.
The next morning as my boss came into my office and said “Did you do it?”, I realized I wasn’t going to get out of this train wreck in one piece. She flatly refused my denial but let me off the hook at first. It seems that sometime in the night, someone had gained access to her office and completely reversed it. Her desk was facing the wrong way and most accompanying furniture was also shifted. My boss put on a strong front and attempted to work in an office gone backwards for about an hour. She then returned to my office and gave me the task of switching it back. I’m not sure if she did this because she was positive I had done the dirty deed or if it was because she knew she probably hadn’t caught me at something else so this would be cosmic justice as opposed to direct justice. Cosmic justice is always a bigger pain because you know you are guilty of other things. Karma is a $&#$@. I should have squealed, but having a 3rd grade sense of right and wrong, I decided to swallow the justice and go in there and put things right. Only then did I find out that the desk she had was made out of the heaviest material I had come across. It had to border over 400 lbs and it didn’t want to be moved. With much struggling and a couple of other guys who were not involved in either joke to help out, I managed to get her office back to it’s original shape.
My reason for staying out of the joke? The heinous experience? I’ve been working at places where employees have had desks since 1982 and I have seen this one office occurrence happen time and time again. Offices change and grow. People need to re-arrange the layout and move desks around. Other people are not at work on the big day of the move. Come the next morning? Guys who were not in the office on move day go to their new desk, sit down, and it’s work as usual. The women? Ohhh it ranged from anger to tears but not one time was it work as usual. I believe it has to do with the nesting thing. Women can take nesting way too far and tend to nest everywhere they use as space. Home, park bench, car, work. When ever the duty comes to me of changing or doing something to a woman’s space without her knowledge or approval, I always refuse the duty.
So now I put it to you dear reader what have you seen? Am I off my nut again? How deep is this hole really? Please tell me here. I’m dying to know what you think!